My ex and I did the same. Hello Mr. Moustache, Reach out to this community online. Mr. Been There Stephen Tamang Utah Valley I wish you well! Divorce is tough. As for these other people commenting well they can go kick rocks. Wow, great post MMM. It is truly one of the worst things that can happen, most people dont understand unless theyve been through it, which can be very isolating. Wishing you and your family a fresh start in 2019. I hope the bump of divorce on the road to badassity doesnt deter anyone. The flipside of all this is that many, many people are currently married, who should not be and dont want to be. And it is important for these people to hear that although divorce is always difficult, sometimes it really is the best choice and there should not be shame or blame associated with this choice. Having babies of your own is even harder. Pete Adeney, aka Mr Money Mustache "As fluctuations continue over the time and you continue to invest, you get the average price as time goes on," he adds. MMM says that a 5% withdrawal rate will last 50+ years. If youre still married and there is even achancethat you want it to last, you might consider the following steps. A divorced friend told me that, when one door closes another one opensbut the halls a bitch. While I cant recommend any particular book, if youre looking for a great place to discuss this with other FIRE-minded women, check out http://www.reddit.com/r/FIREyFemmes. I loved reading this post. Given how long things had been sliding in my marriage it surprised me that in a very short period of time (no affairs) it was like a switch was flipped and I knew there was nothing left in me that wanted the relationship to continue. No marriage is ever easy, its why they say in good times, and in bad But I agree the odds are not good, and to Stans point the odds are higher than people typically state because we usually only reference the divorce rate; something I hadnt thought of but agree with. Ill leave you with one of my favorite jokes: Both were and are heart-wrenching, but the golden key has been the awareness of how precious our time together is, and a renewed commitment to cherishing each other. Reasonableness is required on both sides. Makes a lot of sense. Twopupsonacouch But we can. Addendum #2: Podcast Why your house is a terrible investment with Radical Personal Finance Video Why your house is a terrible investment with Mike & Lauren YouTube. MMM, good for you re civil divorce. Honestly the first time I heard this I cried. Stan, I couldnt agree more. Keep on keepin on. Regional Occupational Program ROPss are all over the nation I keep telling myself it's cheaper than a divorce. September 27, 1961. worked through the do-it-yourself paperwork and paid a $265 fee to the county court for the divorce. I sure could of used your advice then. Mr. Smith represents a threat / battle / death to society. People who dont even know you, will speculate on your character and your motives. It sure has changed my life for the better. Perhaps the parents went through a bitter divorce . Thank you. Hugs from the internet :), Mustachio I have flicked to this site over the years but not read in depth. I have been married for almost twelve years now, and we have never fought I learned and taught my spouse how to solve differences with love, respect and flexibility. I wanted people to get inspired by my situation. The process was handled as if it were a way to punish someone (me). I was the one who asked for the separation so you can blame me for it. Loving the new YouTube channel, Ive missed the MMM one liners like We call this the oil well pants. Youve got a lot of folks wishing you well, and I hope that gives you some comfort. MMM has an entry on that. In the best scenario, the end of a marriage is just a change to your love life, and you can continue to collaborate with your former spouse in a wonderful and open way. Because divorce, especially with children and family and traditions involved, is really fuckinghard. MMM, man I grieve with you at the ending of your marriage. A good way to find them is to learn and engage in things you are interested in. Why are divorce attorneys so expensive? But fortunately, like everything else, going to war is almost always achoice. Im sorry you were the subject of gossip, but Im glad youve risen above the nonsense with such a positive post. . Lewis was married to Joy Davidman. While he's certainly sympathetic to the fact that many people struggle to make ends. But I just wanted to remind you that a pessimistic attitude like that is very self-fulfilling, especially in the area of finding future love. Mr. Money Mustache and his then-wife retired at the age of 30 with a net worth of $600,000. So thank you for sharing your lifestyle philosophy and also keeping it real. (phoenetic Massachusetts accent)]. You or your loved ones will get sick and some of them will die. Building everyone up and never, ever tearing anyone down. In fact, when rumour of our separation got out, multiple gossipy and negative and downright distasteful discussions formed around the Internet on Reddit, other bloggers websites, even right here on my own forum. No. All Rights Reserved |, How to Retire Forever on a Fixed Chunk of Money. Ok uh forgot. Addendum #1: Case Study: Should Josiah buy his parents a house? The few comments I had read, the baseless speculation and entitlement were disgusting. Those are pretty bad odds. We share plenty of time with our son and he is doing amazingly well because we are choosing to make this new life about growth rather than conflict. Junior Achievement morning shifts from about 8a-2pm at local schools or at JA Finance park My comment form allows you to use a pseudonym so you can be anonymous while you let out the truth. December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. You can be the best spouse in the world and have them leave you for a Bass player with a drug problem in an AC/DC cover bandwhich is the dating pool you will run into after 40. ;), Been There Done That My costs for gas are around $5-6/hour. 571 talking about this. Divorce is flat out trauma. I can tell you from experience that even under the best of circumstances a divorce is emotionally very difficult. I wish my parents had divorced 15 yrs before they actually did everyone, especially them, would have been much happier. December 31, 2018, 8:04 pm. MAD Wealth last updated October 09, 2018. Like Mike said above, all the coulda, shoulda, woulda talk and thoughts will do little more than continue to rehash what has already happened and, unfortunately, will no effect on the past, but it will most certainly delay you from moving forward. So aim to survive. I decided to keep improving my chances of a better paying job and decided to go to university. Also you need to learn hypermiling techniques (google it) to save as much gas (or energy if it is electric) as possible to earn more money from each trip. Be well! Christine T It is hard to reflect and plan for your next relationship while you are in one, and it is hard to appreciate and treasure company when you have never enjoyed and endured solitude. December 31, 2018, 5:49 pm. Hang in there and thanks for sharing this. I bought the lowest-cost house in the neighborhood, just a 2.5 minute bike ride down the hill from the family house, and Ive already fixed it upandstarted hosting Airbnb rentals to help make it carry its own weight. Too many couples marry on passion and spur of the moment decisions. I can't think of any undergraduate degree that I think is worth $150K. Kids will have plenty of trouble on their long road to adulthood if they even make it. (No surprise to anyone.) Its so hard in the beginning, but if you keep your childs best interests at the top of your decision-making pyramid, you will be ok. Luckily, my ex was ready to do the hard work, too. Sure, you want to see some earnings. December 31, 2018, 6:36 pm. Very sorry to hear, but love your attitude about it. Sometimes its ok for things to come to an end. Keep em coming! Thinking of you all, and wishing you all the best. December 31, 2018, 6:03 pm. My guess it was too personal to share. And finally there is the famedfinancial costof divorce. This may be a time to get a housemate, get assistance at your local food pantry, apply for any programs associated with low income households (utilities will lower your monthly bill, you may get some heating assistance, etc. But that makes the point stronger. Keep up the good work sir! My own breakup 22 years ago was incredibly emotionally and financially difficult. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. We are both doing well in forming new relationships and supportive of the others success in that important aspect of moving on. Perhaps it looked like I was better off and had plans.I didnt really, the desire to separate was all I knew for certain. And mellower and friendlier. Mr. Leung, who invested through the Great Recession, added: "There was a lot more reason to be scared in 2008. Thank you for sharing this. Live happy, free, and empowered until the day I die. I had no idea until I met up with Carl (Mr. 1500) at the MMM HQ last month and he mentioned it. December 31, 2018, 6:49 pm. Hey MMM.. brave post, way to go. You and the ex-Mrs have generously helped all of us with this blog and changed many lives for the better. Thank you for sharing such a personal and inspirational story. I didnt want to be that loser guy. Complaints and insults generally wont make the cut here, but by all means write them on your own blog! Ive known people whove viewed the experience as their great escape, and have bounced into new romantic relationships, and seemingly new lives before the ink has even dried on the divorce decree. The biggest thing I got from this is how you and your former wife are able to maintain a healthy atmosphere for your child!! Emotions get heavy in these situations. He actually spends a lot more money each year than he tells everyone, but in order to keep up with his image and cult of followers, he continues to say they live on little. Also the tip box. It started something wonderful and snowballed into more success and satisfaction than I couldve imagined. No wonder relationships are so difficult! December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. Then there is thesocial shameattached to divorce in our culture. At this age, people have mellowed and learned from their past relationships and are moving on to a new free stage of life since our kids (if any) are growing up. So that's the bad news. Yes! Lots of quiet, introverted people get together and find friends amongst the rest of the gang. Consider animal shelters, park/rec groups, etc- very people-interactive. While my only experience in relationships was a year long, long distance relationship, when it ended, it was really horrible. Take 100 marriages. Toggle navigation. Two-L Michelle There are lots of reasons for divorce, but the idea being retrospective/shoulda,coulda/wouldais a bad one. TheAngelsReply Mr. Money Mustache talks about his divorce mrmoneymustache 15 11 11 comments Best Add a Comment glassgost 4 yr. ago I was kinda hoping he'd mention if his frugality was a factor or not. Most of us (myself included) drift through the years, assuming we are doing a perfectly good job at being married, while unintentionally making all the same mistakes that everyone else makes. The downfalls of our own relationship are personal and not something we choose to make public, but youve heard it all before anyway. The gossip has to hurt and the internet can be ruthless, likely filled with people who are experiencing their own levels of hurt. And all around you, there will be a sea of fighting and breakups and divorces and mismatched relationships that you wish would end, for your sake or that of your best friends. I first read it on an article posted here. I told her I admired how she kept her cool cus she told no one not even any family because she said she knew how angry we would be at him. Do you think its good to have one? All the best to anyone else going through this scenario, especially with kids. The noted penny-pinching guru dubbed Mr. Money Mustache announced on New Year's Eve that he and his wife have divorced, writing in a blog post that they only spent $265 on the entire process. 1) Find multiple healthy distractions. Take a different route to work than you usually do, and a different route home. fundicin a presin; gases de soldadura; filtracion de aceite espreado/rociado; industria alimenticia; sistema de espreado/rociado de lubricante para el molde I hope your divorce is a step towards that, but I would wait to date again if I were you. Thank you for sharing this. As all my previous relationships lasted no more than 2 years. When they purchased the house it was bland and boring with builder's grade finishes, but Mustache gave the open floor plan lots of personality with pops of bright color, clean-lined furnishings and modern amenities. Thanks for your words and all the best! I dont know you very well, but still. Another inspirational and honest piece of writing. . 3. teach a lesson, attempt to reduce or protect ego) but it very rarely results in the desired outcomes. And most notably from the perspective of early retirement and financial independence, havingenoughmoney in advance has made this part of the split much less painful. Choosing to leave the work force for whatever reason is at least a bit easier for women, relative to men. I dont think its over simplified at all. As someone who has been married for 23 years with 2 teenagers, I understand the ups and downs of a relationship and family. 4. December 31, 2018, 8:02 pm, Sorry to read about your Divorce and hats off to you for staying close and dealing with it amicably. Besides lowering your expenses to bare minimum, maybe you can rearrange your house (sleep all in the same room) to rent out other rooms to pay for the mortgage and even have some extra money left over. Yep the idea of a mediocre partnership just so someone can change my diapers sounds like hell to me. Planning to visit Longmont someday and get to say thank you in person. Mr. Money Mustache was a thirtysomething retiree who now writes about how we can all lead a frugal yet Badass life of leisure at. My very amicable divorce became final just two days ago, and i find it normalizing and validating to read your experience. I found that my attempts at rebuilding the marriage were never really a priority until I finally said I wanted to divorce and by then nothing was salvageable. I commend you on the cooperative divorce. He was declared innocent by a unanimous / universal . Sending you many blessings for 2019. And the fact that you can live so close and still have a great relationship is a sliver lining. Even Mr. Money Mustache and JD Roth (Get Rich Slowly) got divorced. I like your advice heck where were u when I divorced 25 yrs ago. Mrs. MM has always been an independent-minded person who is good with money and decides on her own spending. So not much awkwardness. ), read books, laugh, cry, learn mindfulness and meditation, eat salads, get outside and exercise, write more new things and build new things and new businesses and new relationships, and you will come through it better than ever. Ive noticed myself spitting venom with my heart being in the right place (ie. Besides House Hacking, if you have a car, you might want to try out being an Uber or Lyft driver. Ive met a lot of people through meetups. A single extra 5 minute Uber ride per hour will net me approximately $3 which is a much high return than hyper milling can give. Every human needs and deserves to be accepted and loved even the people who drive us crazy and even those who treat us poorly. It has also led to other related nature/outdoor group activities. Our friends and families had so many questions when we announced our separation there were no major injuries, no addiction, no betrayals.