Im so sorry. Hospitals wouldnt admit. However, Ive lost my father, mother, cousin whom in my heart was my brother. Then she was born. Its been 2years and 2 months and some days it feels like yesterday all over again. I used to wake to a tear soaked pillow but that hasnt happened in a while. I have not had a single day without tears since she was diagnosed.Yes, just over 18 months. We loved nothing more than simply being together. Ive read so many sad comments, but also so many lovely ones. The second year is hard , I dont know if its harder but definitely the break downs still happen Acceptance sits in. Key Takeaways. She never loved anyone like I did my husband, and cannot fathom why I am still grieving after all he was a very sick man and he just couldnt have lasted longer. Feel it and carry it as far as you can. I found him passed away from a heart attack on my 27th birthday. From and including: Tuesday, October 21, 0200 (Julian calendar in United States.Change Country) To, but not including Thursday, February 21, 2008 (Gregorian calendar). One thing is I have to learn to live with is the new normal. It's been 9 months since my sweet Louisa passed away. I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. I fight to have a normal life for my daughter. Thank you my heart goes out to you very much Don. Just keep living until you feel alive again, My life died October 26 2016 I was married 63 years and took care of my husband for his last 2 years. This second year is so hard in a different non-surreal way. He left me 2 dogs, one pregnant one. There was just my brother and I and he was a great guy, down to earth, great sense of humour, a very kind man and I loved him very much and miss him a lot and yet as mentioned I am not on my own. James, thats so weird what you said about feathersMy husband, a brilliant artist, died very suddenly last February a ruptured aorta just like his Dad and immediately in the garden wherever I was, were tiny, white feathers right near me. I keep saying to myself I should have and could have done more to help her. I wish all of the posters, that god gives you the strength to be happy, smile, to know that your not really alone. I try to take steeps forward. I am in the second year, 20 months ago I lost my husband,my sole mate after 31years&8 months of doing everything together,always by each others side,this is the hardest thing I have ever had to face! Then put off the blue, he had a seizure that led to the diagnosis of a brain tumour, which we were later told was inoperable and high grade. My Wife, best friend, confidant, solemate is gone. No matter how my day is going, Im constantly knocked off guard with just one person, me, doing things that we used to do and not two. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, youll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. Florida Statutes require you to submit the original Will to the clerk of the court within 10 days of the person passing, while Florida Statute says this, no one holds you to this rule for obvious reasons. I miss my wife I came home from work 2018 found my wife on the bedroom floor. I say to myself to what end? I woke up in Bed a Saturday Morning on the 15th of December 2018 and she passed in her sleep. Nothing i do or say can change what happened. Anyway we are ALLdifferent but for me sitting round crying ( I do at times) seems such a waste of MY life. If I were writing a book for mourners, thats how Id likely end it: Your dearly departed would want nothing less for you! So far, however, figuring out how to even begin thinking like that just seems way too hard and complicated. Oh Holly This year, it seems as if my thoughts revolve around all the treatment my deceased wife got that didnt help, treatments she could have received, and a yearning for one more. One more smile, a hug, a kiss, a conversation, a meal together. i thought i was getting a bit better getting on with things and losing the 3 stone i put on. I guess its normal. Ive felt lonely and sometimes I dont know how to cope with the loss and pain. But I get no answers God doesnt tell me why just to trust Him. I miss him every second of the day, that will never change. A whole lifetime of wonderment , joy and happiness wiped out, all our tomorrows gone, all our yesterdays so painful to remember without him, it seems like so cannot cry any more, like a numbness has descended into my soul, no laughter no joy. One user wrote the following heartfelt plea online: My friend just died. You've opened my eyes to see what it all means. I am at the 16 month mark and it seems to be getting harder. When, I feel as you (and I do feel that way), I think of what my beautiful wife and friend would do or say. He was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me life was finally good. I think everyone thinks I should have moved on and gotten over it. I just feel blessed that he loved me that much! The pain is awful. Many people have said to me (and they still do), you have your kids and she is in them Thank you for listening. I wish there was a bigger word than love that could describe how I felt for her. Love to everybody with the same feelings. Most are still married and although sympathetic really have no clue. I work, i come home and I go to bed and get up and do it all over. The numbness is gone and reality is now setting in. So I stay home crying and dont know where my life is going. Other days I just wonder why bother. Hi everyone. It has not. What does life look like know for me is always on my mind. After being with him for over half my life. I will say that it is a wonderful feeling, but also, I still miss my husband. Ill keep tip toeing forward and maybe attempt to wave at someone carrying their boulder on the tight rope next to me. But speaking for myself I had to change focus, take the focus off him and onto those left behind. Never happy. He was so above pettiness and saw things though a better side of life. Yes, the 2nd year seems much worse. Rest in peace dad." "Our love for you is as strong as ever, Dad. He said any kind of self harm is your bodies way of protecting itself from the great, immeasurable pain. Thanks for your wirds, Ann Feel like Ive gone back to the early days of losing him. They may not even be pearls, but something beautiful and shining, lovely days to counteract the darkness. So I dont open to her, she has a lot of anger, which doesnt help me at all. I saw a counsellor after that which helped- I was numb after that. I was compelled to write this because I have no where or no one to talk to about this emptiness that I fear that nothing will ever fill this emptiness because I have lost the past present and future. It's the kind of heartache you can feel in your bones. The second is Grief Share, Your Journey from Mourning to Joy, a nationally organized support program to help individuals in their most difficult journey. Be there to listen and comfort them. Im working towards my PhD in Holistic health & nutrition, I run every day to keep depression at bay, practice yoga, lift weights, take walks, & I appreciate & thank God for good memories we had shared & the little beautiful moments I may experience each day, like a colorful sunset from my window or a whistling bird outside. unexpected way. 120 Death Anniversary Quotes And Other Words Of Comfort - Scary Mommy Thank you all for sharing your stories of grief. I Lost My Mom 12 Years Ago. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It It's been 20 years since you passed. | by Christine | Medium And then there are days where I can't believe that it has been this long. I dont want my dad back. Hi, its going to be 2 years in March 2020. Then then 13m on, a huge ugly cry at new yeartook me to the next step of thinking i was ok. We were married 23 years. One day we are shopping, and the next day Im dealing with his death. Big hugs. I empathize with you. So I had my children to worry about also now the puppies and my husbands family member. We did everything together. How could you leave me alone? He lives through me and I am blessed and honor to say that I love him the way I did. My mother passed away October 2018. Freind I have no interest in life. You can see them coming. I need one that tells me when we will be together again. I lived off cake, pie, candy & other sweets. I dont say it will not be hard going into the future and I will not say tone is a healer. I lost my wife September 8th 2017 our anniversary was to be 23 September. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. I get angry very easily, I cry at the drop of a hat, I cant sleep and I just miss him so much. I now know I am normal again with just a different heart. The first year after her passing was very painful, yet it was what some people called the numbing year. My soul. I kept two puppies and suddenly have 4 dogs that I enjoy, more than church more than people. Very first time I laid my eyes on my bf I was in love. . 14 months ago we were enjoying lunch together at home as we had for years. I pushed my way through year one, just knowing that if I could make it through that then all would be better. I still grieving my life totally revoved around them especially when mum got sick. I just survive praying to God that one day we will be united. So thank you for all the sharing here. Im still waiting for that window, Glad to find this article, I was married 55 plus years to a wonderful man. All the years of Surgery,radiation and Chemo. Hello, I lost my husband May 2015 suddenly and we have a small child who is now 5. 60+ Mother Death Anniversary Quotes and Messages - WishesMsg He was in and out of the hospital for months and then a small mass was found on his lung. At least we always made sure to tell each or other I love you before we parted on the phone or in person.And although there was a bit of a gap between us they were there for every stage of my life as a baby they helped my mom with me not because they had to no they wanted to,as a child they were my heros then as time went on the feeling was mutual and a bond grew Like everyone else who has had a loss the pain seems to go on and on. I just want to say this to you and I know you wont like but I know you know Im right! Love to all i feel your pain. I also have an on/off boyfriend who is a narcissist I am sure. heart. I was told theres no heartbeat, his heart stop beating that they have to take the tubes out. NOT EVER!!!!! Now, the black pebbles outweigh the pearls, but there are shining days and I pray and am sure for you, and for me, the beautiful pearls will return, one by one. Thank you for all your comments and thoughts you are sharing. It is almost relieving to have a physical representation of what is occurring on the inside. I lost my mum very suddenly on the 18 January 2017. My sister died 3 years ago at age 47. I cant even remember the first few months. A grieving cat may go off its food. My dad passed away Mar2016. I lost my wife to cancer 22 months ago. I'm in my 16 month. The hymns always make me cry and then I come home, make a cup of tea and play more beautiful songs and hymns. Holly, I cant breathe sometimes. They are 53 years old 50 years old and 47. All My family lives out of town. FREE 15 minute consults available to www.griefincommon.com members. I am so grateful for them.